Truths & Love

Day 149.  Victoria, again!  Different Victoria than yesterday, though.  Warning!  This post may cause you to cry and immediately go hug the ones you love.  Pretend your worst case scenario came true.  Worst case scenario could mean a lot of things.  In this case, it’s your husband intubated in the ICU s/p cardiopulmonary arrest, and you at his bedside waiting for him to wake up.  This terrible scene from a movie is Victoria’s reality.  Victoria is a nurse colleague and friend of mine.  I can’t help but cry when I think about what it would be like if my husband, the person I love the most, was lying in that bed.  When I heard of this news over co-workers talking, I knew I had to go to Victoria and see her.  I knew she would not leave the hospital and be by his bedside constantly.  That’s what we do.  We’re nurses.  We know WAY too much.  We take care of these people every day and then, BOOM, it happens.  Suddenly, without warning, our loved one is in the bed and we can only pray and hope that the very best is being done for him.  And the very best is being done.  But that doesn’t make it any easier.  I hugged Victoria A LOT and listened to her talk and held space for her.  Victoria knows I worked in the unit for the past 3 years, and she said “I always thought I knew what ICU nurses did, but I didn’t really know what they do until now.  And they are amazing.  They take care of my husband like he is the only patient here.”  And that’s what you do.  I impugned the little things I did as an ICU nurse as I did them, like brushing my patient’s teeth every 4 hours, and turning them side to side every two.  But those little things matter.  For a lot of reasons.  And if not for medical and evidenced based reasons, simply for the reason that your patient’s loved ones SEE you doing these little things. And then they know these little things matter.  That their loved one matters.  Because you have hope.  I have LOVE and HOPE for Victoria and for every single patient I touch. Why the heck wouldn’t I?!  I have seen miracles happen.  Every single day.  If I LOVE, then you LOVE, then the world LOVES.  It’s kinda contagious.